


Three Jokes, Two Fools, One Day

by starbuckscully



Category: Supernatural
Genre: April Fools' Day, Bees, Fluff, Humor, M/M, POV Castiel, Pie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-01
Updated: 2013-04-01
Packaged: 2017-12-07 05:29:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/744809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starbuckscully/pseuds/starbuckscully
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first joke was, in Castiel’s opinion, by far the funniest. The second joke, in retrospect, had not been a step in the right direction. The third joke, as it turned out, landed not so much on Dean as on himself.  And the last joke was not really a joke at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three Jokes, Two Fools, One Day

The first joke was, in Castiel’s opinion, by far the funniest.

Dean’s face had been hilariously shocked when Castiel shouted “April Fools!” and revealed that the children were not, in fact, dead. The obnoxious man from the tv would be surely proud to see how well he had “punked” the Winchesters.

Before Castiel could bask in his success, however, Dean was on him, gripping him by the collar and yelling in his face.

 _“What the hell were you thinking??”_ he bellowed, apoplectic with rage. _“You said a whole nest of vampires had taken over the schoolhouse! Do you know how fast we rushed to get here? I could have driven right off the road! It’s not funny, man!”_

Dean let go of his coat and shoved Castiel back. He turned away and continued muttering angrily.

“But, I told you that Sunnydale Elementary had been taken over by a nest of vampires headed by an evil Angel,” Castiel tried to explain. “It is a reference to the spunky woman with the blond ponytail, which itself is clearly an allegory for the battle of heaven and hell, with the archetypal heroine representing mankind’s humorous attempt to control its own destiny despite the caprices of…” he trailed off as he saw Sam making a cut sign at his neck.

“Dead kids, Cas? Not cool,” Sam said gently.

~*~

The second joke, in retrospect, had not been a step in the right direction.

Castiel had been eager to make up for the misfire of the morning by pulling off a truly amusing prank. Dean was going to stay at the motel while he went with Sam to pick up some burgers for lunch. When they got to the car, however, Castiel confided in Sam that he was actually going to double back and try another April Fools joke.

“I’m not sure that’s the best idea…” Sam said while giving him a skeptical side eye.

He assured Sam that this time he had mastered the concept. Sam shrugged and got in the car, saying something about “your funeral” under his breath.

And so he had gone back to the motel room and cheerfully announced to Dean that a witch had tracked them back to the motel and sprung a spell on them to switch his and Sam’s bodies.

“What? Where’s Sam then? I mean, Cas? Where’s Cas?”

Castiel was very pleased with how smoothly he lied and said that Castiel had flown away in his brother’s body.

“Figures. Son of a bitch always poofing off at the worst times,” Dean groaned.

“What do you mean?” Castiel asked.

“You know how he is,” Dean brushed off the question. “What happened to the witch? Shouldn’t we go after her?”

“Why? I rather like this vessel. Maybe I’ll keep it,” Castiel replied defensively.

“Ugh, I think I just threw up a little in my mouth,” Dean said with a grimace.

“What's wrong my vessel?” Castiel demanded. “And I do not just poof off!”

Dean’s jaw dropped.

“Cas??” he stared at him angrily. Castiel looked away nervously.

 _“Goddamnit, Cas!”_ Dean leaped up and went to the door.

“NOT FUNNY!” he roared, and slammed the door behind him.

~*~

The third joke, as it turned out, landed not so much on Dean as on himself.

Castiel had thought it a clever and creative combination of Dean’s most and least favorite things. Wasn’t ironic opposition and the unexpected the very essence of humor?

He presented the pie to Dean as a sort of apology for the earlier failed jokes. Dean eyed it approvingly and told him he might get out of the doghouse yet, whatever that meant.

When he poked his fork into the crust and the first bee flew out, Dean jumped up and screamed with such hysteria that Castiel thought for sure he had finally accomplished the art of the prank.

 _“What is your problem??”_ Dean yelled as the bees poured out and swarmed in the small motel room.

“It’s a honey pie!” he replied cheerfully.

“It’s a screw-you pie!” Dean growled as he batted away bees with a magazine peculiarly wrapped in a paper bag.

“It’s funnier in Enochian…?” Castiel tried to explain. Soon he forgot his protestations as he noted the bees were increasingly rounding in on him. He slapped one off of his neck and felt something sticky. Of course, he had gotten cherry pie filling on himself when he scooped it out to prepare the prank. The bees buzzed around him and he began to feel uncomfortable pricking sensations all over his body. He tried to shoo them off, but there were too many. In the background he heard laughter.

“Now _that_ is funny,” Dean cackled.

“Dean, I am in pain! I fail to see the humor!”

“Ever hear of karma, you son of a bitch?”

Castiel heard the motel door swing open, and a hand reached out to pull him into the fresh air. Dean shut the door, still laughing, and suggested they go get some insecticide.

~*~

The last joke was not really a joke at all.

Castiel glumly poked his fork at a slice of pie in a diner that evening. Dean grinned as he started on his second slice of actual cherry pie.

“Cheer up,” Dean prodded him and snickered. “I thought you liked bees?”

“These were an unusually aggressive breed, it seems,” Castiel replied grumpily. He had quickly healed himself where he had been stung, but it smarted all the same.

“I just wanted to participate in some human holidays,” he went on. “I fail to grasp the meaning behind so many of them. The only one I really understand at all is Valentine’s Day.”

“Oh, why’s that?” Dean snorted and shoved another forkful of pie into his mouth. “You in love or something?”

Sam raised his eyebrows and looked between Castiel and Dean.

Castiel shrugged.

“Wait,” Dean dropped his fork. “Really?”

Castiel felt uncomfortable. He looked down into his lap.

“No way! With who?” Dean demanded.

“Dean,” Sam interjected. “Leave him be.”

“Aw c’mon, Sam, after all he pulled today?” Dean replied. “He should be able to take a little harassment. So, Cas, fess up!”

Dean put an index finger under Castiel’s chin and tipped his face up so that he had to look him in the eye. Dean was smiling gleefully. Some red gooey pie filling was stuck to the corner of his mouth. Castiel stared at it and replied quietly, “With you.”

Dean laughed. “Ha! April Fools! That’s a good one.”

Castiel did not laugh. Sam looked at them apprehensively.

“No,” Castiel stated. This was turning into one of the worst days of his life. This feeling of embarrassment was causing him to reconsider whether pranks could ever be kind if the victim felt half as bad as he did in that moment.

“Wait, seriously?” Dean stopped laughing and looked at him intently. For a long moment no one said anything. The diner clock chimed loudly twelve times.

“Hey, it’s April 2nd,” Sam offered. “No more April Fools' Day.”

“Yeah, what do you say now, Cas?” Dean asked gently.

“I do not wish to revise my statement,” he replied carefully.

“Good.” Dean leaned across the table and put his hand behind Castiel’s head and pulled him in for a warm, soft kiss.

When it was over, Castiel was left breathless.

Sam was biting his lip and looking away. Dean smiled as he settled back into his seat. He picked up his fork and shoveled in another piece of pie.

Castiel could hardly believe the turn the evening had taken. He felt himself grinning in elation.

“Oh and Cas?” Dean started, mouth still full of pie. “No more jokes.”

Castiel nodded in agreement. No more joking around.


End file.
